39

Or, The Shortest Yet

Reader,

All week I’ve been wondering what to say and now, past 1400 on Saturday, I figured I could say I have nothing to say.

It’s been a week that started off with anxiety for me then it turned into a particular despair about the future of secularism in a country where, as someone mentioned “[those of us committed to secularism] are the minority”. Awino Okech wrote in The Conversation about the imminent risk to secular ideas, and especially what that means for the rights of women in Kenya. I would like to lead with hope but it’s hard this week, when even books have not been the escape that I’d then talk about at length.

So I’ve looked outwards (I binge-listened, as I worked, to videos featuring Gail Vaz-Oxlade tough-talking people out of debt) and inwards (by handing over the reins of my Twitter account to a dear friend and therefore losing access to some parts of the world, and a source of escape). I saw some art, went for a walk & talk with a friend, and breathed a little deeper every time the meditation app bell rang. The lone bookish thing I did was set the stage for the book club pick at my wage job - The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives by Lola Shoneyin, which I learnt has an audiobook version (yaaay!).

The chief way anxiety showed up for me was a fear of walking outside alone, the primary time during which I listen to audiobooks, so the clock ticked on my loans and I made no progress. Clearly, writing or video-making (here’s the latest video) was out of the question and the closest to ‘normalcy’ I got was starting Outlawed by Anna North on Thursday. It’s very odd to have this feeling manifest in my reading and not my body (progress, I guess?) though I must say still having room for wage work and life thoughts (like considering being a foster parent, even as I navigate adoption) was a welcome change.

That’s it, really. Inauspicious end etc but that’s how it is sometimes, eh? Please write back to me and tell me if you’ve had a better reading time and what books you’re reading or looking forward to reading — it’s always a great time talking about books.

Enjoy the rest of the week and have a lovely time reading. Talk to you soon!