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Or, The Work of Memory
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Reader,
Today is a dear friend’s birthday and it has me thinking about how we’re all growing older (more than halfway done with our life expectancy at birth etc etc) and childhood is increasingly a smaller portion of our lives, yet still such a strong influence.
I’ve especially thought about childhood because of three of the books I’ve finished since I last wrote to you — Disoriental by Négar Djavadi, Sad Tiger by Neige Sinno and Nobody’s Girl: A Memoir of Surviving Abuse and Fighting for Justice by Virginia Roberts Giuffre — each of which I’ve discussed over on the blog, where I’ve been writing daily for almost two months. Each of them tackles childhood in an interesting way and they all feature women over thirty looking back at their lives and considering how they’ve affected their present.
Disoriental, the lone fiction title of the three, is a title I picked up because of the Queer Your Year Discord server (like members of the Goon Squad I discussed last week, I too spend time on Discord) when I realised I could get into it before the meeting on 1st November. I’m so glad I was able to chat about it with folks whose work I’d only interacted with online, and some interesting people from the server, because it was such an enriching experience.
Our narrator looks back at her childhood and youth as she sits at a fertility clinic’s waiting room and her remembrance scratched a number of itches for me. In a time when migration is even more fraught than usual (being the lone person in the Global South in some literary spaces often results in one being reminded that they occupy the body of a potential immigrant, never a citizen), reading a narrative of national belonging for whatever that’s worth transformed into one of being the Other during childhood was quite the experience. I often speak about how I can’t fathom bringing up a child in the US with its guns and its healthcare system; this book reminded me that for many of the world’s people - whether in France, the US, Australia, or wherever else people emigrate to from the Global South - “No one leaves home unless home is the mouth of a shark.” in the words of Warsan Shire.
Sad Tiger and Nobody’s Girl are both memoirs of women who experienced child sexual abuse (CSA), with both of them having experienced it at the hands of male relatives. Sinno weaves in literature, history, sociology, and memory to create a memoir of survival unlike anything I’ve read before. I want so badly to talk about it with someone who was struck by its craft like I was while also confronting the issue at its heart. This isn’t something I speak about often but as a child, I took the school bus and experienced the sort of inappropriate behaviour from a man on the bus that had me leaving the bus before my stop every day with as many other girls (by which I mean, we were AFAB children) as I could to try and protect us all. The way she writes about the powerlessness that children feel in the face of what should be trusted adults harming them was visceral and the book resonated on so much more than the literary level. Please feel free to reach out by replying or via email (100onbooks@proton.me) if you’d like to chat about it.
Roberts Giuffre’s book is heartbreaking for the way its author did not live long enough to see its publication. This was me the whole time I was reading it:
And I mean this for all of them, Andrew Mountbatten Windsor inclusive. The entire time I was reading and listening I wished I could hug young Virginia and protect her from these people (because there were men and women involved) while also acknowledging that she was implicated by virtue of being under the control of Epstein and Maxwell. Her voice is so strong and her determination is something to behold. I just wish she’d lived long enough to know how many (more) people were rooting for her and how many people are in solidarity with survivors everywhere.
So much of the work of living is the work of memory and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the way books do this work. Whether fiction or non-fiction, the way literature can fill in gaps or bolster memory is something I value greatly. Even in a week when dysmenorrhea was giving me a thrashing; I’m grateful for the respite that was, and is, books.
Quick news/ things that may be of interest:
Treat someone you like (me, for instance, I have a Switch) to the Tiny Bookshop Game (which is also on Discord)
Subscribe to my WhatsApp channel for texts I find while I spend time online
Add me to your New York Times Crossword leaderboard!
If you’re in the Global North and would be open to engaging in the North-South solidarity that is sharing a library card, please email or message me so we can figure things out. Thank you!
Join us for these Laps & Livres meet ups this month (sign up here, feel free to reach out for more information via lapsandlivres@proton.me)
Film folks: The Japan Foundation has newly launched the JFF Theater online streaming platform
A bunch of (mostly American) short stories if that’s your jam
Software resources for audiobook management. Especially Audible-centric, including organization and removing DRM from Audible files
A thread for folks looking to support Usikimye’s work
The Queer Liberation Library 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️, which is free to join here
Digital Library of Korean Literature, which is free to join here
How to Write Alt Text and Image Descriptions for the visually impaired
Links to Reading Lists, Free Books, Book Recs, Book-related Items, and Calls for Submissions in this document (most recent links at the top)
Since Elon seems to want (some of) us gone, I’m trying to post more often on Bluesky. Follow me there if you’re on it!
You can send me books, postcards, letters, and assorted items via PO Box 102439, Jamia Posta 00101, Nairobi, Kenya (I write back!)
I have finished the following books since I last wrote to you: Disoriental by Négar Djavadi; translated by Tina Kover (e-book and audiobook narrated by Siiri Scott), Sad Tiger by Neige Sinno; translated by Natasha Lehrer (e-book), Nobody’s Girl: A Memoir of Surviving Abuse and Fighting for Justice by Virginia Roberts Giuffre (e-book and audiobook narrated by Gabra Zackman & Thérèse Plummer) and Deep House: The Gayest Love Story Ever Told by Jeremy Atherton Lin (e-book and audiobook narrated by the author). I’m primarily using Storygraph now (passively updating Goodreads as I read most e-books on Kindle via the library) and I hope to get back to making videos soon.
As ever, please write back to me and tell me what books you’re reading or looking forward to reading — it’s always a great time talking about books.
Thank you for reading 🙂
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Enjoy the week ahead and have a lovely time reading. Talk to you soon!